His hands are tainted, his past is distraughtly forgotten. Yanagi Aiji was never particularly sure of who he was, what he was meant to do, what he wanted to do and achieve. Even from his teenage years, his doings were nothing but a series of mistakes and regrets that continuously haunt him to this day. Memories are vivid within his mind, as a painful reminder of the sins he’s to blame for, the sins that he could never be forgiven for. Perhaps his grim wrongdoings are what fuels him now, driving him to a path of self-redemption to not only bring right within the city of Shinjuku, but more importantly within himself.

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For this reason, he refuses to expose much of his past self. Or that was what he initially had intended. Ill fate had other plans for him. Ichika Hoshino was a name he had never learned, yet she had found her way back into his life, either willingly or not. Never would have he imagined that the fear-struck child that burns in his memory would be in front of him again, with such a strong and firm gaze—. Aiji almost feels envious of the drive of her ambition, but instead he cannot help but think twice of their situation. Why has Adonis brought them together once again? It’s an ominous question, riddled with thoughts laced of despair. Hoshino is living proof of his sins.

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She sits in front of him now, beaten down and depleted of all energy, barely capable of lifting her spoon to her chapped lips. There is a warmth that splays across his chest as he glances over her ashen face. Aiji had noticed that she had been running herself dry, she had been so determined and persistent with her research and work—he ought to reprimand her for dismissing her health like that. Earlier, she seemed to have been wrestling in her sleep, and he had briefly placed a worried hand on her forehead, to which she had sharply turned away from. Initially he thought nothing of it, she was simply asleep and seemingly having a nightmare, of course she would thrash at sudden contact. Yet, there is a weight that tugs at his mind—he cannot forget their past.

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Hoshino may not remember, but knowing Adonis, only time will tell when she will find out the truth. It is a reality that, for as long as he can, Aiji would like to dismiss. He had been doing a relatively good job on passing over questions and sides that she would slide that would pry at his past, and had even outright rejected her by saying he rather not speak of it. They are simply pawns of a game that Adonis is conjuring. They were to outsmart their common enemy, and help deliver justice back into Shinjuku. …It was their hopeful solution, that is.

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He is brought back to reality as words of flattery leave her mouth. She is complimenting his cooking, to which Aiji simply offers a soft smile. It is the least that he can do with the busy days that surround them. The more of the truth they gradually unravel, the more Adonis hints at exposing his past. Of course, Hoshino would grow more and more curious. Even with the smile that she mirrors back to him and the gentle laugh—how many more moments of blissful ignorance will fate allow them to have? Are these even appropriate, or are they simply falsified tokens of peace?

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A selfish part of him wants to cherish the little that they have. Another insists nothing of it, persisting the notion that Adonis has more terrible plans for both of them. Perhaps this is why his heart lurches and burns. Hoshino’s determination and strong sense of justice pushes him ever so slightly, he is drawn to the idea that he wants to support her. He will try to do so as much as fate wills him to.

 

Even as he fishes out a ladle to serve her another serving of soup, seeing the warmth recolor her face—Aiji feels a similar feeling spread across his own face. Their search for the truth was a race against time, with her life at stake, of course there is dread that fills his mind. Despite that, despite everything, he cannot help but wish to elongate their moments. Was that selfish of him? Knowing what he’s done, the color of copper red, of dried blood that stains his hands, and the look of absolute fear from her face—

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But it’s different this time. Her features definitely are the younger girl that’s burned in his memory, but she’s different. Her lips blossom into a smile, and his mind screams. It’s not right, she is a reminder of his past, a reminder of his mistakes—yet, and yet! Aiji cannot stop himself as he reaches out to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. As quickly as it comes, he lets go, flustering Hoshino, and equally startling himself. It’s shocking, but it’s also a realization.

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“Have you had enough to eat?” He says, with a slight tease in his voice. Hoshino flushes more, and Aiji cannot help but think, how cute she is when she’s like this. There is so much to fear with the upcoming days. Their time is running out. But why should that scare him? He’d simply be falling into Adonis’ hands. He isn’t sure what will happen, but alongside Hoshino he knows to adopt a sense of hope and strength. He’d gladfully hold onto her hand, with his calloused broken ones. Whatever they become, whatever fate has in store for them. They’ll simply fight against it, just as they are now.

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That is, if she will have him for who he is.